I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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