at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
