I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
