I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You took a bar mat shot.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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