i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
