I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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