Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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