We need to rekindle our bromance
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize