it's like iHOP with fire
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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