shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
