I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
