Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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