I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
