wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
God, I missed his penis.
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