North Korea, Best Korea!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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