I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
