I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
3 2 1 whiskey
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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