Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
