bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
