Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
