Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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