it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
