playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
