plz talk dirty to me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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