in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
