I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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