i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
