The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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