haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
