Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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