Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize