Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
