No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
