Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize