I bet he comes in French.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
