i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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