Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize