How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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