Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
