i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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