i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
