Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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