if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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