we have officially lost it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize