i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
