Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
