After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
