Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
