Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
