I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i love accidental penises.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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