I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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