my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
