M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
