I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize