I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
