another moral hangover. fuck.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
