I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize