I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize