It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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