So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize