i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize