honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize