Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had to cum in my sink.
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