when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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