Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
