We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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