i think my tv is drunk
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
