i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
