were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
