It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
