peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
