Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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