My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
