So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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