I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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